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APRIL FOOLS'.

(Sorry.)

If the book existed, something like this might happen…

(Scene from JJ’s POV, and features some of the LSU guys)

 

JJ

 

“What the fuck is that?”

 

“I think you mean, what the puck?” Ander grinned at me, waving the book in my face. Ignoring my annoying friend, I returned my attention to Sid, carefully placing a selection of salad leaves and cucumber slices in front of him.

 

“JJ. I said, what the puck.”

 

“I heard you, but I chose to ignore you.” Spinning around, I tugged the book from my housemate’s grip, my brows rising as I took in the cover. “This makes no sense. Why is there a dinosaur? Why do they have to use the word ‘pucking’? ‘My Pucking Tutor’… I don’t even want to know what Kill would say if he saw this.”

 

“It’s a play on words because of the ice hockey puck.”

 

“Yeah, I got that.” Dropping the book on my desk, I grasped the hem of my T-shirt, lifting it over my head. The Uber was due in half an hour, and I hadn’t even started getting ready.

 

Ander whistled. “A free strip show from Sanctuary’s second-most popular dancer? I’m so pucking lucky.”

 

Ander.”

 

“Okay, okay.” He held up his hands. “I’m going. Can we make a deal before I go, though?”

 

I should have ignored him, but we both knew I wouldn’t. Sifting through my selection of shorts, I pulled out a midnight blue pair. A smile curved over my lips. The colour perfectly matched Killian’s favourite shirt, and since he was going to be meeting me at Revolve tonight…

 

“JJ?”

 

“Sorry. What’s the deal?”

 

Ander leaned back against the wall, his grin widening. “If you use the word ‘puck’ or ‘pucking’ instead of the proper words while we’re at the club tonight, at least three times when I can hear you, I’ll write Killian a letter—no, an email—telling him what an amazing lecturer he is.”

 

“I don’t want you getting him involved in this.”

 

“I mean it, though.” Dropping his smile, he stepped up to me. “Yeah, I know I used to complain about him. A lot. But since you’ve been together, he’s changed, and now he takes the time to explain things to me, and…yeah. He might actually be the best lecturer I’ve ever had.”

 

My brows flew up. “What? Do you mean that?”

 

I knew just how amazing Killian was, but I also knew his reputation among the LSU business students. Did they really see what I saw when I looked at him? Warmth filled me as Ander nodded firmly, my mind filled with thoughts of the incredible, hardworking man who I was lucky enough to call mine.

 

“It’s true. Ask Elliot if you don’t believe me. Yeah, he’s still brusque or whatever, but without that savage assholeness he had before. He’s changed, and he’s good. I mean it.”

 

Swallowing hard, I held out my hand. How could I ever turn down something like this? The chance for Killian to hear how fucking incredible he was from one of his own students? “It’s a deal.”

 

***

 

The lights swept across the crowd of dancing bodies, the music pulsing under my skin.

“Fuck, Joshua. Look at you. Was this why you told me to wear this shirt?” Killian rasped, running his hands down my sides to my hips, pulling me into him.

 

I let my head fall back against his shoulder, my back pressing into his chest. “Mmm, yeah. I wanted us to match.”

 

“I can’t wait to get you home. I’m going to strip you out of these fucking shorts and—”

 

“JJ. Killian.” Ander appeared in our field of vision, and I felt Killian sigh heavily behind me.

 

“Don’t forget,” Ander said, before tugging Elliot into his arms. “I want to hear it.”

 

I glared at him, and he smirked at me. Reminding myself of why I was doing this, I steeled myself. “Oh, puck.” I made sure I enunciated the word clearly, so there was no mistaking it.

 

“Hmm?” Killian murmured in my ear. In my peripheral vision I saw Ander hold up one finger, but my attention was stolen by my fucking hot doctor, who was now sliding his hands up my torso.

 

“Kill. Fuck. Puck. Keep doing that,” I gasped, as he ground his erection against my ass, his mouth kissing across my shoulder and onto my throat.

 

“Two,” Ander called, and I closed my eyes, willing him away. One more. All I needed to do was say it one more time. Then Killian would get what he deserved, and I could relax and enjoy the rest of the night with the man I loved and our friends.

 

“Joshua? Is there something you want to tell me?”

 

No. The last thing I wanted was Killian getting suspicious.

 

“Why the—” Spit the word out, JJ. “—puck would there be something I wanted to tell you?”

 

Ignoring Ander’s triumphant “Three!” I spun around to face Killian, wrapping my arms around him and sliding my lips across his. He groaned low in his throat, palming my ass through my shorts, his mouth opening for mine, his body hot and hard against me.

 

“Let’s—”

 

“Go,” he finished, releasing me to take my hand, leading me down to the lower level and the darkened corridors and hidden corners where we could be alone at last. Finding a free space, so dark I could barely make out his face, he yanked me into his body, getting one hand around my throat as the other wrapped around my cock. The bass pounded around us, covering the sound of my moans as he took me apart with his hands and then his mouth.

 

After I’d got down on my knees from him and made him see stars, he led me back up to the club’s main level and onto the dance floor. Instead of dancing, he simply held me in his arms, placing soft kisses over my face, so gentle and careful, like I was something so precious.

 

Burying my head in his throat, I kissed his warm skin. I trembled, so overwhelmed by the depth of feelings I had for this man. “Kill.”

 

His hand slid into my hair, gently tugging my head back so our eyes could meet. Everything I was feeling was reflected in his gaze. Dipping his head to my ear, he murmured, “I know, my sunshine.”

 

A new hand touched my shoulder, and I turned to see Ander smiling at me.

 

“I wanted to let you know I would’ve written the email either way,” he said.

 

My own smile stretched across my face as I took in the sincerity in his voice. Letting go of Killian, I threw my arms around my housemate. “Thank you. You don’t know how much it’ll mean to him.”

 

He shot me a quick, nervous grin, disentangling himself from me, and Killian moved in to slip his arm around my waist, eyeing Ander with raised brows.

 

Glancing at Killian, Ander took a deep breath, and then spoke again.

 

“Dr. Wilder. You’re a pucking amazing teacher.”

 

_______________

 

Happy April Fools’ Day.

2023 APRIL FOOLS' SCENE

Okay, Pythonagoras isn’t a real book. But if it did exist, and it ended up in the LSU series, maybe this would happen. 

(Scene features Ander and Elliot from Sidelined)

 

ELLIOT

 

“No.”

 

“Please? For me?” Ander widened his eyes, clasping his hands together as he stared at me hopefully. I glared at him, and he grinned. He knew I was incapable of saying no when he begged.

 

“Why do you want me to wear it?”

 

He shrugged. “Because you’ll look hot in it.”

 

Eyeing the item in question doubtfully, I shook my head. “Ace, I don’t even think you could make a hotdog costume look hot. And honestly, if you think that’s hot, I’m worried for you.” Turning back to him, I placed my hand on his forehead. “Hmm. No temperature.”

 

Batting my hand away, he pulled me in for a kiss. “I’m only fucking with you, E. I don’t have a hotdog fetish—” He paused, tapping his lip thoughtfully. “—unless it’s this hotdog…”

 

When his hand began sneaking down to my belt, I grabbed his wrist, stopping him in his tracks. “We’re in public. Save it for later,” I hissed, trying and failing to fight my smile. At least we were in a quiet part of the joke-slash-costume shop. In fact, there didn’t appear to be anyone else around. I grimaced as I glanced at a mayonnaise bottle costume with suspicious looking white drips trailing down from the “lid.” Guess no one else wanted to buy food-related outfits today, either.

 

“Come on. Let’s go this way.” Ander began heading down a long aisle with purpose, as if he knew exactly where he was heading. I stayed where I was for a minute, just appreciating the view of my boyfriend walking away.

 

He turned his head, his mouth curving into a smirk as he clearly read what was written all over my face. I held up my hand to stop him speaking, jogging over to him and planting a kiss right on his smirking lips. A kiss that turned into him backing me into a shelf, something digging into my back uncomfortably, but I was much more interested in the way his mouth was moving against mine.

 

When we drew apart, both of us were a little out of breath. “I love you,” he murmured against my lips.

 

“I love you, too.” Pressing another kiss to his lips, I stroked my hands down his back, loving the feel of his muscles shifting under my palms. “Let’s hurry up and choose something, because I want to get home and—”

 

Whatever was digging into my back suddenly slid forwards. I jumped away just in time to avoid a small tsunami of medieval-related paraphernalia, including a large broadsword in a leather sheath, several breastplates of different sizes, and one of those jousting helmets with slits for the eye holes.

 

“We were never here,” I whispered, and then ran for it, followed by the sound of Ander’s laughter. Turning to the left, I came to a stop in a small open space with racks of what appeared to be animal costumes, and a set of changing rooms and a mirror at the far side.

 

Ander rushed past me to the racks and began shuffling through them. He gasped, spinning back around to me. “I’ve had the best fucking idea for our costumes. Wait here. Don’t move.”

 

When he returned, I’d taken a seat on the carpeted floor, leaning back against the wall with my legs stretched out in front of me. I raised a brow at the overflowing basket he’d procured from somewhere. “What’s all this?”

 

Instead of replying, he went back to the rack, pulling out a costume that I couldn’t see because he was in the way. When he’d placed it in the basket with the other items, he came back to me, sinking to the floor in front of me. “There was a book…” he began.

 

“What kind of a book?” There was something in his tone that made me instantly suspicious.

 

“Uh, you know Dee?”

 

“Do I know my cousin, Dee?”

 

He grinned. “You know what she’s like. She said she was gonna send me something, and then I got an Amazon delivery with this book. I knew straight away that she was winding me up because of the cover, and the gift note said that since we liked dressing up, maybe we’d appreciate it.”

 

“What the fuck! Is she never going to let me live that down? That costume was your fault.” We’d been around fourteen years old, and a game of truth or dare with our friends had spiralled…and the end result was, I’d had to wear a ridiculous mad scientist outfit for a whole weekend and try to convince my family that I wanted to become a physicist. Out of nowhere. Even worse, there was a family party on the Saturday, so I’d turned up in a lab coat, round glasses, and with my hair sticking out everywhere. Dee had taken one look at me and had laughed so hard she cried.

 

“It wasn’t my fault. I had to wear that Wolverine outfit. I don’t even know what that was about.”

 

“Yeah, okay, that part wasn’t your fault, but you were the one to suggest the mad scientist idea, and then everyone else got ideas, and the dares got out of hand. So what was the book?” Knowing Dee’s sense of humour, I wasn’t sure I even wanted to guess. “Scientist and superhero?”

 

“Not exactly.” He rummaged around in the basket and pulled out a bow tie and a pair of rectangular, black-framed glasses. Shuffling forwards, he handed me the bow tie and placed the glasses carefully on my face. “You’re the cute, nerdy one.”

 

“Am I?” I raised a brow again, and then dug out my phone from my pocket, flicking on the selfie camera. “Oh, I like these. They’re nice.”

 

“Yeah. You look cute.” Placing his arms on either side of me, he angled his head to press a kiss to the tip of my nose. “My cute, sexy student.”

 

“Your what now?”

 

“And I…” He paused dramatically, before climbing to his feet. “I am your hot but nerdy professor, with a ssssecret you need to discover.”

 

“Okay…”

 

“Wait. I need to put on the costume.” Dipping back down to the basket, he pulled out another pair of black framed glasses. Once he’d put them on, he proceeded to add to his ensemble with a brown jacket, complete with elbow patches, and a lanyard that said “VIP Access,” for some reason.

 

“What’s the name of the book?” I asked, just as he was lifting the final item from the basket.

 

“Uhhh. Pythonagoras.”

 

“Do you mean Pythagoras?”

 

“Nope. Pythonagoras. See? The hot professor is secretly this.” When he turned around, he was brandishing a—

 

“Is that a snake costume?”

 

“Yep. He’s a python shifter. Now I just have to work out how to get into this thing.”

 

Before I could reply with something that didn’t involve the words “what the fuck,” he was lying on the floor, wriggling his legs around and doing an unintentional version of the worm as he attempted to pull the snake outfit up his legs. He looked so ridiculous that I couldn’t have stopped my laughter even if I’d tried.

 

“I have to video this for JJ,” I wheezed, blinking away the tears in my eyes as I curled forwards. My stomach hurt from laughing. “Fuck, Ander. You’re insane, and I love you so much.”

 

Instantly, he stopped moving, and pointed straight at me, his eyes shining. “That,” he said. “That’s why I’m doing this. Because I love you so fucking much, and I want to make you smile every single day.”

 

There was only one way I could respond. I lunged forwards, throwing myself at him, and kissed him.

 

And when we got home, he showed me his very own python.

 😝

 _________________

 

Happy April Fools’.

2022 April Fools scene

april fool

But seriously.

Panhandled by the Alpha is not real, at least, not in this universe (as far as I’m aware). BUT if the book did exist, and it somehow ended up in the world of The Four series, something like this might happen…

(Please be aware I wrote this scenario while ill in bed with the flu, and the medication might possibly have sent me a tiny bit crazy. Nevertheless, enjoy!)

(Features Weston and Lena from the Four series)

“Alpha.” The trembling man next to me bowed low in greeting, and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to suppress a snort of laughter as I eyed the male in front of me.

 

So, this was him.

 

The almighty alpha. Leader of the wolf shifter pack.

 

He cut an imposing figure, even here in his kitchen, with his powerful body covered by an apron. Barely sparing the posturing man a glance, he raised a sardonic brow in my direction.

 

“Can I help you?”

 

His voice was a low rumble, like distant thunder, soft yet full of power.

 

“I don’t know. Can you?” I raised an eyebrow in return, and the corner of his lip kicked up in amusement. We both ignored the gasp of shock from the bowing man.

 

“Tell me why you’ve entered my kitchen.”

 

“Why does anyone enter a kitchen? To get food, of course.”

 

Planting his hands on the counter in front of him, his nostrils flared as his eyes flashed with sudden fire. “You dare to enter the sacred kitchen of the alpha? Leader of the wolf shifters? Don’t you know how my name is revered around here, puny human?”

 

“Puny human,” I said flatly. “Really.”

 

Ignoring my comment, he picked up the frying pan from the kitchen island and placed it on one of the hobs on the large stove. “Hand me the bacon, wench.”

 

“Hey—wait a minute! You can’t call me—”

 

The door swung open, smacking against the wall with a bang, and Cassius burst into the room, naked other than his Warning: Concealed Sausage apron. Why? Why couldn’t he just wear clothes like a normal person for once? Even the burn incident hadn’t scared him.

 

His gaze darted between us, his eyes narrowing. “What are you two doing? I’m supposed to be cooking the bacon, not you.”

 

“Uh…” I cleared my throat, stealing a glance at Weston, whose cheeks were flushed red. “Nothing.”

 

“Oh.” Cassius’ face cleared. “Oh. This is that werewolf chef roleplay thing, right? From that Panhandled by the Alpha book?”

 

There was a pointed cough from the floor, and Weston’s friend Rumi rose to his feet, looking everywhere but at us.

 

“Fuck off, Cass.” Weston glared at him. “Blame your girlfriend, she gave Lena the idea.”

 

He sighed heavily. “I can’t help what she reads. I tried to steer her in a different direction, but if a book doesn’t mention fantasy creatures with moist petals and pulsating members, she doesn’t wanna know.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, we’ve all heard you reading her books aloud. Frequently.” Folding his arms across his chest, Weston rolled his eyes at his best mate.

 

“Wait!” Cassius suddenly shouted, making us all jump as he stabbed a finger in Rumi’s direction. His face took on a green tinge, and he made an exaggerated retching sound in the back of his throat. “How did you get involved? Please don’t tell me this is some weird sex—”

 

“Let me stop you right there.” Darting across the kitchen, I clapped my hand over my brother’s mouth.

 

“I didn’t mean to get involved,” Rumi protested, throwing his hands up. “I only came here to borrow a hard drive from West so I could do some penetration testing!”

 

Cassius’ eyes widened, while my boyfriend lost it, laughing so hard that he had tears in his eyes.

 

It wasn’t even remotely funny. It was embarrassing as fuck, to be honest. Why had I let West talk me into this again? Oh, yeah, because he was convinced that I was some kind of Twilight superfan, thanks to my brother’s blatant lies about me being obsessed with Edward Cullen when I was younger. Edward Cullen wasn’t even a shifter, for fuck’s sake.

 

Anyway, after today’s disaster, I could say with 100 percent confidence that we would not be roleplaying as a bloody shifter and a puny human ever again.

 

At least, not when anyone else was around.

 

______________

 

Happy April Fools’ Day.